Without You

Baby you're amazing,

life without you is devastating.
Since you left I've been broken,
You said goodbye and you weren't joking.
As I fall asleep at night,
I wonder what I didn't do right.
You said we would be together forever,
what made forever turn into never?
I'm left with questions I can't find answers to,
it's been a year and I'm still stuck on you.
I wish I could live a happy life,
but without you I can't function right.
Losing you was the hardest thing to happen to me,
sometimes I feel like I can't breathe.
All I want is for you to be mine,
please come back to me this time.

Hear Me Out

I thought this was over.. I thought the pain was finally gone,

you picked me up when I was weak and loved me until I became strong.
My empty heart was full of bliss and overwhelming joy..
I thought our love would last this time but you threw me away like an old, unwanted toy.
Here I am.. crying over you again..
please tell me when this pain will end.
I trusted you with all of my heart,
I should have known this was a mistake right from the start.
Why is love so cruel to me?
Tell me why this always ends with me crying down on my knees..
You always believe everyone else,
how do you think that makes me feel about myself?
There's no reason why you should look at me in disguist,
when have I ever done anything to make you loose trust?
I don't deserve all of this doubt...
it's time for you to hear me out.

Remember Me

So you say the skies are blue,

yet all I see is grey.
It's been this way since the day I lost you,
all of my happiness has faded away.

People said we wouldn't last,
we turned from them and started to laugh.
That was a few years back...
back when we thought our love would always last.

My love for you still runs strong,
but all of your love for me is gone.
You're the reason why I live,
without you this world has nothing left to give.

Now you're gone and so is my will to stay alive,
without you... I would rather die.
So when I'm gone.. remember me,
let me live in your memories of what we use to be.

Everytime♥

Everytime I smile, I'm thinking of him. Everytime my heart speeds up, I'm close to him.
Everytime I close my eyes, I see his face.
Everytime I want to cry, I think of his love.
And everytime I think life's not good enough,
I remember that he's all the good that I need.

Dream Come True

The way you make me feel,
it's simply amazing.
You are the reason for my happiness.
Every second of every day,
I wish I could spend with you.
When we're apart,
all I want is to be by your side.
So many feelings are bottled up inside of me,
I have to let them out before I explode.
I want to stand on the highest mountain
and scream out my love for you.
I want everyone to know!
You're my dream come true,
and I want to spend my life with you.

Another Day

Today is just another day of missing you.

The way you smile,
remembering your face in my mind.
Wishing that I could see you for just one moment of this day.

Today is just another day of thinking about you.
When you're all that's on my mind,
writing these silly poems seem to be the only things that help.
Putting thoughts of you on paper is the only way to get my feelings out.

Today is just another day without being in your arms.
When I long to be held, I miss your touch.
Not able to lay by you and wrap my arms around you,
resting my head on your chest until your hearbeat is the only thing that I can hear.

Today is just another day of not seeing you.
Not looking at your face,
not being able to stare into your eyes.
A day that I can not kiss your lips.

Today is just another day without you.

Losing Myself

I'm losing myself,

I'm fading in the distance.
I don't know who I am anymore,
I'm different, just not the same.

Something has changed within me,
everything is going wrong.
I don't know how to find myself,
I'm lost somewhere in the past.

Just a memory of what I use to be,
I don't know how to get it back.
Things are moving to fast,
I can't keep up with the changes happening to me.

I'm stuck in a hole,
trying to crawl out only makes me go deeper in.
Things have gone from bad to worse,
I'm trapped in this hell that I have created.

My heart cries out for happiness but finds nothing.
How is it possible to loose yourself?
There's nothing left of what I use to be,
but I'll put the pieces back together eventually.

Fairytale

I've waited all of this time,

to find a love like mine.
I use to wonder who I'll spend the rest of my life with,
trying to picture what he would be like.
Now I know just how amazing he really is.
I can't get enough of the way he makes me feel.
When I see his face,
nothing else matters.
And when I look into those green eyes,
the whole world is left far behind me.
He is my fairytale,
the prince that I have always dreamed of.
When I say that I am in love,
no one seems to believe me.
But the truth is:
Everytime "I love you" leaves my lips,
I mean every bit of it.

Have Faith

You're my heart and soul all throughout,
the one person that I can't live without.
We've been through so much in these past two years,
some good and some bad, but I will always be here.
You're the greatest guy that I have ever met,
the only guy that has my heart dead set.
You can always make me smile, even when I feel like dying.
To say that you don't mean the world to me would just be lying.
This is a hard time for everyone but you are strong,
have faith in God and you won't be in there for long.

Do you know...?

Do you know what it's like to feel broken inside?

to feel like a butterfly who's lost it's wings.
a bird who has forgotten how to sing.
Do you know what it's like?

Do you know how it feels when you might loose someone you love?
to know that tomorrow might not be as good as today.
that the person you love the most might not be here to stay.
Do you know how it feels?

Do you know how to live your life pretending like everything is fine when it's not?
to hide your feelings from everyone while you cover all of the pain with a fake smile.
just hoping that maybe the pain will go away in a while.
Do you know how to live your life pretending?

Always & Forever

Let's start this over completely new,
there's nothing else that I would rather do.
Forget the past heartbreaks,
erase our minds of all mistakes.
In the future, love is all that I see,
believing nothing except words exchanged from you to me.
My mind is clear now, all hurtful thoughts are gone,
where pain once was, now love has grown.
Depression no longer lives within me,
the wounds that only I use to see, have finally been set free.
My heart has been perfectly pieced back together,
now is our chance for a new "always and forever."

12/13/07 until forever♥

I'm craving the feeling that amasses within my soul as your lips press against mine and I am compelled by the need to just be held by you for the rest of eternity. You're my heart, my soul, my one true love.. you're the sunshine of my life and without you I would fall deeply into a dark and lonley abyss. I am forever dreaming of your passionate embrace and the tingling sensation that caresses my body as you whisper sweet words of love into my ear. I can feel the love that's pulsating throughout my veins and I know that the desire I have for you proves that no amount of affection could ever be to profuse. When I'm not with you, my mind holds on to your memory tenaciously. I can see your smile, your eyes, your everything.. all so vividly. I savor these images inside of my mind until, once again, I am fortunate enough to gaze upon the real you.

Hahaha, my attempt at rappin' :)

Red beans in my tummy and I'm ready to roll.

Tonight I'll be tootin' up a storm, have ya screamin' OH NO!
Got homework to do but I think I'll pass.
For all I care, Heaton can kiss my @$$ !
Jeesum pete, it's like skanks are multiplyin' by the dozen!
Gonna need a 2 by 4 just to keep em off ya husband.
Girl's needa learn how to respect their self.
If they can hit it after a minute then so can everybody else!
Fake friends, fake friends... they're all over this place!
Shit, where I gotta look to find some real ones... EBAY?!
People needa learn how to be straight up.
You're so caught up in ya lies that you don't even know what's what!!
There's a million other things I should be doin' right now.
Just thought I'd let yall see a white girl try to rap, & I'm out. BOW!!

Love Adventures

Remember when you made up that silly excuse in Mrs. Harper's class freshman year just to come sit by me, & I played with your hair pretty much the whole hour? Yeahh, I think that was the first time we ever really met. & even though we didn't say much, my entire body was tingling just from your presence. Remember when Justin had to make me ask you out because he knew you liked me back but you were taking absolutely forever to tell me? I'm so glad I listened to him that day. Remember when we shared our first kiss on Valentine's day of 2008? I think that was pretty much the worst kiss known to mankind, lmao. Trust me, this is no offense to you, bc we were BOTH not very experienced ahaha. & yes, I'll take most of the blame bc I know I was horrible lol. Remember when we went to Blue Bayou for your 16th birthday & you tricked me into getting on that ride with you at Dixie Landin & you had to carry me piggy back around the park until I finally felt well enough to walk? Bet you learned your lesson! :) Remember when you bought me my first promise ring & I wore it every single second of everyday except for when I showered? It broke my heart when it was stolen.. thank you so much for buying me a new one baby♥ Remember when we started to fight, & all of our love turned into hate? That was when I realized that I'd much rather die than live without you. Remember when everyone at school would not stay out of our business & always tried to make everything 100% worse? & everytime we started to get close again they would start drama with us and ruin everything? Gosh, I hate messy people. I'm so glad we're done with school. Remember when I did everything in my power to get over you, like going to parties & dating boys I didn't even really like? Yeahh, that didn't work to well since you'd call me and talk to me the WHOLE time I was at a party lol. Honestly, you know you never really wanted me to move on, you loved me but at the same time you craved the single life. Remember when I was talking to that boy who you said looked like a tadpole & all 3 of us were awkwardly together at the skatepark one night? & I broke up with him, left him there at the skatepark as he watched me walk away with you? lol wow, that was mean. & even though we acted like a couple 85% of the time, you still didn't want me. No matter how hard I tried. Remember when you were diagnosed with leukemia in May of 2010? I thought nothing in the world could do more damage to my already broken heart, but I was wrong. My whole soul shattered into a million tiny pieces that day. Remember when you finally asked me back out after two years of me waiting & crying? That was one of the best moments of my life. You said the sweetest and most romantic things that I have ever heard in my life & I will never forget how special you made me feel for as long as I live. Remember when you held me close & told me you love me just the way I am? When I have no make up on, my hair unstraightened, & wearing comfy clothes because you love me for me? You made me feel like the happiest girl in the world. Every little critcizing thought that I have ever had about myself completely washed away. Because YOU loved me, just the way that I am. & you are the only one that matters. These are the moments that have made us who we are today. No matter if it was absolutely amazing or tragically unbearable. You came back for me. You are here, & you are mine. & I pray to God that we stay together and that we make many, many more memories.♥